Marathon Dreaming

Moms have a lot of fears when it comes to their children. Some moms fear that their kids will choke while eating, others fear they will drown while swimming or suffocate while napping - I've just always feared a cessation of respiration in general. As a parent, I have a million responsibilites to my children, not the least of which is to ensure that their lungs and nasal passages are functioning at optimum capacity at all times. For this reason, I am not a fan of the common cold, Anna's asthma freaks me out, and the rise and fall of their chests as they lie snug in their beds at the end of the day is included in the nightly checklist, right along with whether or not they've peed and brushed their teeth.

Now that we all know how I feel about breathing, I must share with you what happened last night, simply because there's not much that makes me laugh at 3am, and I don't want to forget this story...

So it's 3am, I am lying in bed wide awake, and I hear one of my kids doing some post-marathon breathing. Despite my fear of labored breathing, I lay completely still and wait...here's why: historically, my ears enjoy playing little tricks on me. I'm always hearing sounds, and my brain is always picking them up and running with them, all the way to the land where mole hills turn into mountains and I convince myself that I and everyone around me is about to die.

So I wait through a few more breaths and then I gently nudge my husband and ask him to join me in the quiet game. He soon confirms that someone or something in the house is breathing very loudly. I go from calm and patient to CPR mode in two seconds flat, and as I'm springing out of the bed to go rescue my child, I fall all over Anna, who unbeknownst to us, has crawled onto the foot of our bed and is sleeping peacefully, the rhythmic rise and fall of her chest indicating that she is sleeping much like a baby and confirming that her mom is a paranoid nut.

Mercy Buckets

While I was in college, my favorite professor was in the process of teaching himself Korean. My first thought upon learning this was, "Why?" I mean Korean isn't exactly the easiest language to master, and you don't find many opportunities to practice it here in the States, especially not in the sprawling metropolis of Rock Thrill, SC.

My second thought upon learning his current intellectual undertaking was, "rock on!" People who aspire to better themselves, whether it be by learning correct grammar for their native language or tackling a language native to a country they may never visit, inspire me.

My nine year old has recently become obsessed with the Chinese language. In fact, I am currently surrounded by gobs of notebook paper littered with complex Asian characters crafted by the hand of my American elementary school age child. When I first learned of her interest I again thought, "why," followed closely by "I wonder if I can find her a little chinese friend in the middle of Blue Ridge."

It is a known fact that any foreign language is more easily learned at a young age. I was thirteen years old and in eighth grade the first time I was exposed to a foreign language. I took two years of German in high school and two semesters in college, and if catapulted smack dab in the center of Germany right this very second, I could successfully cuss out the natives and utter the equivalent of "I have no idea." Great, I am only bilingual in my ignorance. That's an American for you.

It may be a stretch to expect America to offer a wide variety of foreign languages in our public school systems, but with America becoming more and more of a melting pot by the millisecond, and with more and more jobs seeking bilingual applicants, I think it's time that we in the Upstate realize that the wonderful program we offer at Blythe Academy is not enough.

Shoot, I would STILL be roaming around The Vatican in Rome if it weren't for that nice, multi-lingual Italian native who directed me back to the bus.

The Sorry and The Clueless

Have you ever met someone who is constantly trying to "one up" your emotional experiences?

Let's say you have had a horrible day and you are moaning,whining, and complaining to your friend so incessantly and belligerently that you are forgetting to breathe, and then finally the moment comes when your tirade ends and with an exasperated sigh and the anticipation of being wrapped in the warm, consoling blanket of your friend's sympathy, you look at them imploringly only to hear a little something like this fall from their mouth:

"you think that's bad?! wait until you hear what happened to ME!...."

Ok, let's pause right here, shall we?

Because I am pretty sure my "friend" just asked me to engage in a game of Keeping Up with The Joneses, The Emotional Edition, which gives me the overwhelming urge to suggest a game of SORRY or CLUE.

Here's a list of verbal enlightenment for all the "one up-ers" out there. Strangely, this list bears a striking resemblance to the one hanging on the wall of my daughter's kindergarten classroom:

1) Be a good listener

2) Treat people the way you would like to be treated

3) Stay on task

4) Be prepared.

That last one is especially important, because if you aren't prepared, next time the above scenario happens, Ima knock you out.

Hay in a Bucket

I have been feeling the urge to write lately and putting it off for a various number of reasons, but thanks to the confining and never-ending nature of this Christmas King, Jr. break by which I am currently being held prisoner, I have discovered that even procastinators like myself will eventually run out of excuses.

I've consumed enough hot chocolate to warm all the kids in Minnesota, seen every movie I've always and never wanted to see, and would be a prime candidate for the next Winter Olympics, if in fact sledding were considered an olympic sport.



So now...I write.

And I am writing to to argue that the notion of a 'bucket list' is a bit depressing. In a society that typically rewards completion of a task, we kinda drop the ball on this one, don't ya think? you're finished?!? woohoo!!!....see ya. Plus, I am a procrastinator, and since I have no idea when I am going to die, I don't exactly see the check marks piling up on that one.

I propose that we make 'hay lists', instead, in the spirit of the old saying "one day at a time." Most of us hit the hay many times before we kick the bucket, thus giving us many opportunities
to complete our ultimate list.

If you've ever said "before I die I want to...."

• travel to an exotic destination, let today be the day you get a passport
• run a marathon, let today be the day you run a mile
• write a book, let today be the day you share a blog with someone....

That's all I'm saying... :)